My "Apostrophe"

I had an “apostrophe” this morning while driving to work. (That was for you Lisa :) ) I like to drive with the radio off sometimes and it seems like when I do, my thoughts just wander to and fro. It drives my husband nuts when he is driving with me because I will have all these thoughts jumbling around in my head and then a question or remark comes out seemingly out of the blue (at least to him) and he’ll wonder “where did that come from?” I then connect the dots for him and it sounds something like this….”I saw that sign back there that made me think of this thing and then I thought about how this one time…and it reminded me of ….. Hence the question whatever happened to….?” But I digress….what hit me this morning was the true nature of the battle of sin.
Now here we go down the rabbit hole….I was praying and meditating a couple of weeks ago about what God wants me to do next. I really wanted to hear from Him and not take off in my own direction just for the sake of forward motion. I remembered this study I did with some friends a while back in 1st Samuel. At one point King Saul does not wait to hear from the Lord (through Samuel) and Samuel Rebukes him (Chapter 13). During this meditation, I heard God telling me to fast so that I can hear from Him. Now growing up Lutheran, fasting to me was what we did at Lent. We give up something that we like such as Chocolate for 40 days because Jesus fasted for 40 days, but I now know there has to be something more to this than my tradition, especially since God Himself is asking me to fast. What do I fast from? How long do I fast?
I decided to Google the key principals of fasting. I came upon several conflicting articles but then happened upon one from IHOP (the International House of Prayer), which is a source I am familiar with and trust. It was a great article with lots of good information, but the thing that stood out for me was from this paragraph:
“Fast and pray in order to humble yourself and purify your worship. In fasting we are not trying to get something from God, but seeking to realign our hearts’ affections with His. In fasting we can more readily say, “We love you, Lord, more than anything in the world.” Lust of any kind is perverted worship, but fasting enables us to cleanse the sanctuary of our hearts from every other rival.”
Fasting is a way to weaken or overcome our flesh nature while prayer and meditation during the fast strengthens our spirit.
Okay now back to this morning. I am driving in my car, and I am chewing on ice. For those who know me, you know that I do this ALL THE TIME. I have even broken teeth doing this, but yet because of my Anemia, it is one craving I cannot seem to get past. I was thinking about how even though I know this is bad for me; I desire it, so I do it. It is the same with certain foods (5 Guys Cheeseburgers come to mind). It got me thinking about what is sin in my life…….
Now on to my epiphany; We like to point at this or that and say to ourselves (and others) “that is sin.” In many cases we point to the 10 Commandments or some Mosaic Law, however, in Romans 7-8 Paul talks at great length about the struggle of sin and law. In verse 7:10 he writes “I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.” He goes on to write that the living by the law is good, but living by the Spirit is what we should do. We have been released from the condemnation of the law in order that we may live by the Spirit. The Spirit convicts us of sin in our lives. Sin is those things in our flesh nature that control us, addictions, cravings, secret desires. We may not even always act on them, but still allow them to control or dominate our thoughts. For me ICE IS SIN. <----My Epiphany! How many times have I said to others…”you can conquer this”…..”Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world”? Yet while saying it I was probably chomping away on my ice. Okay…I am not saying this in such a public place so that the next time you see me chomping away on ice you can point this out to me and “hold me accountable”, just merely to share my thoughts. I am human and I do struggle with (gasp) SIN. I can definitely tell you that ice and bad food is going to be a huge struggle for me and one I am going to have to ponder on for a bit to truly determine the severity of how I allow it to control me and how to conquer this.
I know this may sound silly to some, but sometimes I really feel I have to have ice, and depending upon the severity of my anemia, the cravings come and go. It has no benefit for anemia, but it is well documented.
Hopefully after reading this, you can better understand sin and how God calls us to live Holy complete lives free from this struggle. He gives us the strength and the tools to be “more than conquerors”. I also caution those who would point to sin in others lives and ask you to more closely examine your own. We should see the struggle and relate and feel compassion, for we too face this.
I said recently to a dear friend that I hope that I am never faced with the struggle she has because I am not so sure I would pass the test. Now that I fully realize my own struggle, I realize this is hard!! I totally relate. (Again, I know to some of you chewing ice and eating cheeseburgers seems like a silly struggle, but it’s mine and trust me when I say it is a HUGE one for me.)
I CAN conquer this and there is power in together. I’ll be there to hold your hand and I ask that you be there to hold mine too! I love you because He first loved me.
Your Sister in Christ Jesus
Laura

Expectations vs Expectancy

Those who know me well have probably heard me over and over again on this subject but I felt compelled to jot it down anyway. It started with a sermon that I heard from Pastor Greg at The Crossing, but has grown into somewhat of a personal montra.....LOL

John 6:1-2 Some time after this, Jesus crossed to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee (that is, the Sea of Tiberias), and a great crowd of people followed him because they saw the miraculous signs he had performed on the sick.

Throughout the New Testament we hear about Jesus drawing crowds and crowds following Him. They had seen or heard testimony of His teachings and the miracles He performed. In some cases they had also heard or seen the friction he was starting in the Jewish community especially among the Pharisees and Leaders.

John 11:45 - 48 Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him. But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. Then the chief priests and the Pharisees called a meeting of the Sanhedrin.
"What are we accomplishing?" they asked. "Here is this man performing many miraculous signs. If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation."

John 12:42 - 43 Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God.

We know they followed because of the things they had witnessed, but what about their future? What expectations did they have? Could they possibly know what the future held? There had to be an air of uncertainty among His followers. He did not play by the rules set forth by earthly leaders, and He certainly was NOT predictable, yet they followed. Some of them even faced persecution and they followed.

We often times look to God with expectation. We pray for God to heal this person, or to mend this relationship or to grant us something we feel we need. The problem with this expectation is that often we can miss what God has in store for us because we are so focused on our expectation.

When the Israelites cried out to God in Egypt for Him to save them from their captors, He sent Moses. Moses wasn’t at all what they were expecting, in fact at one point they rejected him and asked him to leave them so they could remain in captivity.

Exodus 14:10 - 12 As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. They said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!"

This happened directly before God parted the waters for them and delivered them from their enemy FOR GOOD. The Pharaoh and his armies were completely destroyed. The Israelites never had to look over their shoulder wondering when Pharaoh would catch up to them. God had a plan greater than anything they ever anticipated.

In this same way they rejected Jesus…

John 7:42 Still others asked, "How can the Christ come from Galilee? Does not the Scripture say that the Christ will come from David's family and from Bethlehem, the town where David lived?"

We look to God with our earthly expectations. God sees a perfect picture. One not clouded by judgment or by limits. He can do things for us that we cannot even fathom. He can open doors we consider locked.

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

This is the difference between expectation and expectancy…..We know that God loves us. We know that He will work all things to the good of those who love Him. We know he wants to prosper us and not to harm us. We know that He is all powerful. Look to Him with expectancy, not expectation. We need to stop expecting our version of what we see to be the answer to our troubles and be open to a greater vision. We may be praying for a change in others, when it is us that He wants to grow. (I find that often to be the case with me at least.) We need to stop sitting in the church thinking, “boy, I wish _____ were here to hear this message” and listen to what God has in store for us. We do not know that the future holds when we follow Him, but we do know it’s going to be good!

1 Corinthians 2:9 However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.

Sharing my quiet time.

Father, I give all praise to You who lovingly created me. I dedicate my life to You! Your perfect love holds my foot to Your path. Where can I look but to You? Who can I follow but You? You are God, my God, and You breathed the breath of life into me! What beautiful tasks you place before me. You are so high and exalted. You see the things that I cannot. Your purpose for my life amazes and inspires me. You are my everpresent help in times of need. You go before me and prepare the way. What a beautiful thing it is to be created to serve You!

Psalm 94:18
When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
Your love, O LORD, supported me.

<3Created by God's own hand♥

Just Stand

Don’t run away, don’t fight, just stand.
This is what I hear from God, just stand.
Don’t sulk and lick your wounds, because this will render you helpless, Just Stand.
Don’t take offense and fight back, because this is not your fight, Just Stand.
I will surround you with others that will encourage you to Just Stand.
I will give them wisdom and words to comfort you so you can Just Stand.
When the enemy comes against you with discouraging words and thoughts don’t make agreement, just stand.
Know that you are who I say you are in Me…worthy, healed, capable, loved, whole and holy, so you can stand.

God showed me this week that it is normal to feel hurt by rejection, but do not dwell on this hurt. Turn my thoughts to serving Him and he will take care of the rest. He placed this calling on my life and His calling for me will be fulfilled.

James 1:12
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Job 11
"Yet if you devote your heart to him
and stretch out your hands to him,
14 if you put away the sin that is in your hand
and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,
15 then you will lift up your face without shame;
you will stand firm and without fear.
16 You will surely forget your trouble,
recalling it only as waters gone by.
17 Life will be brighter than noonday,
and darkness will become like morning.
18 You will be secure, because there is hope;
you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

Lisa, Kelly, Mario…. Like Zophar the Naamathite when he spoke these words to Job (the whole of chapter 11 was too long to post here, but very encouraging) …..you three gave me words and wisdom to stand. You encouraged me not to run away and gave me courage. I love you and thank you!

Slipping Away….

Psalm 94:18
18 When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
your love, O LORD, supported me.

We go through peaks and valleys in life and in our relationship with God. Not by His doing, but rather by our own nature.

There was a time when I stood upon the mountain top. It was beautiful. I learned the most amazing things and understood so much. I was on the right path. God was gently correcting me, and teaching me to be a better person along the way. I was in tune with Him and hearing Him clearly. By trying to follow his teachings, my life became so much richer.

I was growing and that meant growing pains. Pain? Serious effort?…..I thought my life was going to be blessed? Shouldn’t this be easy? I rebelled. It looked something like this…..Ok God, why always me? Why do I always have to be the better person? This is really not fair! (Childish, I know) His answer was always the same “This is your walk; we are working on your journey. Don’t get caught up in judging others.”

Because of my selfish nature, I grew weary of the gentle corrections, and always being asked to do the right thing instead of my own thing. Now I am not saying that I feel that I am a selfish person….or at least no more so than most, but I believe that because we have been given free will, we sometimes make poor choices based on our own desires and not His desires for us. Oh, I know first hand that His desires are so much better than my own…my heart knows this, but my flesh is weak.

I take comfort in knowing I am not alone in this struggle. The Apostle Paul writes to the church in Rome:

Romans 7:21-25
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

I have heard it said in church growing up that when you “backslide” it is much harder to make it back to where you were. I always thought that this was a strange saying because if God is always with us, and it is us that turn away from Him, then why would it be so hard to just turn back and pick up where you left off? Well, remember when I said I felt growing pains and rebelled? If the growing pains were more than my selfish nature wanted to deal with at the time when I was seeing first hand how beautiful things could be if I just followed His will………by jumping right back to where I left off, I wonder how quickly I would be overwhelmed by those feelings again when I haven’t been following His will and enjoying His presence for a while.

God is so very patient with me! Even though I turned away, He was waiting patiently for my return and guiding me back, a bit more slowly than before so that I do not falter again.

I feel so very blessed that God does not give up on us! I do not deserve such grace! I thank the Lord Jesus for His sacrifice that poured out this grace upon me!

2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

My New Years resolution is this…..This year I will try harder not to grow weary in doing good. I want to give God the respect and faithfulness He so greatly deserves.

Galatians 6:8-10
8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

I would like to ask my friends to hold me accountable to this resolution. I wish you all a blessed New Year and Pray that you walk on the path that God has set before you. You hold my foot to it, and I will hold yours.